Haiti

At the end of February, Mike and Sharon Jette, along with Lindsey Bucher and I, were able to take a short “vision trip” to Haiti with the Outreach Foundation. During our time there, I honestly saw a lot of what I expected to see (extreme poverty and a nation devastated by decades of natural disasters and man-made turmoil), but what I didn't expect was how personally God spoke to me during the time we spent there.

The Outreach Foundation exists to find solid, biblical, indigenous churches and ministries who are doing their work with excellence in countries all over the world... and then connect Americans with those ministries to further missions. The ministry we visited in Haiti is called Haiti Outreach Ministries (HOM), and I was blown away by all they are doing and their vision. HOM has bases around Port Au Prince that each consist of a church, school, medical clinics, vocational training facilities, and other resources to benefit the community. We visited each of these bases, spent some time sharing ideas for initiating micro-finance programs in their communities, and prayed over two houses which were built for Haitian families using financial contributions from friends of the Outreach Foundation. There were certainly heart-breaking moments, like walking through some of the many slums and seeing women making “mud pies” (basically sun-baked mud) to fill their children's empty bellies. But there were also moments of great joy and hope, like seeing the children in the schools who were thriving and who understood what hope their education was offering them.

All weekend long, the Lord kept bringing the story of Gideon to my mind. When the Lord appeared to Gideon, he was the least in his family, which was least in all the clans of Israel… and he was hiding in a winepress from his enemies. But instead of calling Gideon what he appeared to be, God said, “The Lord is with you mighty warrior.” He was calling out in Gideon a truth that Gideon didn't even know was there. I saw Haiti Outreach Ministries doing that with the people and children they interacted with. One of our Haitian guides, Fritzno, who lives in the poorest part of Port Au Prince and has very little, is currently attending school for Political Science because he wants to “defend what is honorable” in a country laced with corruption...all because someone from HOM told him about Jesus, showed him that life has hope, and in essence said, “The Lord is with you, mighty lawyer” before Fritzno even knew the Lord had placed that in him.

I feel that the Lord could do incredible things with Haiti. All throughout Scripture, God uses the underdog and the “least likely” to accomplish His purposes; Haiti, the poorest country in the western hemisphere (and by some measurements, the world), certainly fits that description. In the story of Gideon, the Bible says, “Midian so impoverished the Israelites that they cried out to the Lord for help.” I wonder, as more and more Haitians turn to the Lord in their poverty, if God might choose to use the little nation of Haiti to do something amazing.

I'm so excited for how Vineyard Church of Rock Hill might be involved with Haiti in the future. Haiti is so close to us (only a 3 hour flight from Atlanta!), so it's a cheap, easily accessible place for us to regularly take trips, even with our kids. I could see us partnering with HOM regularly to build houses, run medical clinics, do VBSes, feed children, and a myriad of other things. As we strive to be a generous church, maybe we could budget to build a house every year for a family in need, or sponsor a classroom of children to go the whole way with their education. The possibilities are endless!

One final thing the Lord spoke to me personally, but this AFTER we returned home: Ben and I have known for a while that we are meant to adopt children at some point, but soon after returning from Haiti the clear conviction came that this was the country we should pursue adoption from. So this week, we applied with an adoption agency and are starting the loooong (possibly 3-4 years) and expensive process of bringing home (hopefully two) children from Haiti. I see the Lord's hand weaving so much together….with our family, with Vineyard Rock Hill, with Haiti… and I'm so grateful!

In the glow...

Here we are two days AFTER the first official Sunday morning service of Vineyard Church of Rock Hill, and it feels like we're kind of hanging in the "glow" of everything this weekend meant.  I know this probably feels more significant to Ben and I just because this has been something like 7 years of God working in our hearts to plant a church, but I'm pretty sure everyone who was there Sunday morning would agree that God was moving.  If there was one way to describe this past Sunday morning, it would just be "the sweet presence of Jesus."  It was better than we dreamed it would be!  (Yes, I cried practically the whole morning.) :)

Funny story though... Sunday morning I tried my best to get the kids out the door.  I ended up waking them all up early (it somehow feels inherently wrong to me to wake my kids up... this is probably why we homeschool.) :) Not that we were going to be late for church, but I really wanted to get there early enough that I might actually get to help Ben and the others set out the signs and breakfast.  It was like herding turtles to get them to the van, so I may or may not have punched the steering wheel when I finally got everyone in, turned the key, and the van wouldn't start.  I actually wasn't surprised the van wouldn't start because a bolt has rusted off that holds the battery in place, so any time it wiggles out of place, the cable doesn't connect right... we just have to push the battery back into place and wiggle the cable to get it going again.  It shouldn't be a hard fix once we finally have the time to take it to the garage, but we've just put it off because October has been so busy. 
ANYWAY, I got out, tried to pop the hood... and it wouldn't open.  I tried again.  And again.  I came to the conclusion the latch was broken.  After 5 minutes (or maybe it was one, but just felt like five), I pulled out my phone to call Ben.  Somehow I had turned on the Bible app on my phone in my pocket, so when I pulled it out, the "verse of the day" was waiting right there for me.  It said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for there is enough evil in today."  (Not sure what translation it was, I just remember the "evil" part.)  Argggghhh!!  About that time, Micah said, "Hey Mom, I think you forgot to pull the lever inside the van first."  What a smart kid.  In my haste, I HAD forgotten to pop it from the inside first.  Hood popped, cable wiggled, van started, we were on our way!   His eye is on the sparrow... :)

I wish you all could have been there to experience our first morning.  We had breakfast at 9:30 while the kids ran wildly around us... then sent the kids with Mike and Carrie to their classroom around 9:50... then Karl and Lindsey led us in worship starting around 10:10 (we purposefully started worship AFTER 10 - even though we "advertised" that the service starts at 10 - to place an emphasis on allowing people to fellowship over food first), and then Ben gave an awesome sermon.  I love hearing my husband preach, and he had a lot stored up.  :)  He spoke on Exodus 33 where God told the Israelites that they could have the Promised Land but that He would not go with them... and Moses's response that he would rather stay in the desert and have the presence of God than to gain the Promised Land but lose the Lord.  This is our same prayer for the church... as long as we have the presence of Jesus, it doesn't matter if we're small or large, thriving or limping along. Just give us Jesus!  This felt like the theme of our prayer time Saturday evening, and it felt like what we experienced a taste of Sunday morning.  The Lord is so good!

For those who like a little something to listen to, you can click on this link to listen to Ben's sermon:
http://rockhillvineyard.org/content.cfm?id=327

For those wondering about our attendance, I think we had something like 25 adults and 17 kids... the grown-ups weren't actually outnumbered like we thought we might be!  Besides the team, we had some folks who have already "joined up" with us, some others who are exploring the Vineyard, and a few friends who are already involved in other churches but who came to "show the love" on our first service anyway.  We even had one couple come who said they had been watching our website for months waiting to see when we would have Sunday morning services because they had been involved in a Vineyard church in Kentucky before they moved to the area and they missed it so much!  (We went out to lunch with them plus a bunch of other folks after church and we really like them... I hope they decide to be "keepers". :)) 

We can't wait for November 16th!  In the meantime, we'll enjoy "being the church" in everyday life, outside of Sunday mornings, and with other local churches.  I love me the Body of Christ!

Four days left!

In just four short days, we'll have our first "preview" Sunday morning service.  We got word from the YMCA roughly 2 weeks ago that we can indeed use their facilities for a price we can afford, so it's off and running and everyone is scrambling to get it all done!  I keep saying, "I can't wait to get started", although I probably need to bite my tongue and remember that we HAVE gotten started.  That's what this past year has been about because Sunday mornings do not make a church... the people/relationships do.  I guess Sunday mornings just makes it a little more "official" feeling. :)

I read a devotional this morning with my kids that describes well how I've felt about this church-planting adventure so far.  It's from the book, "Thoughts to Make Your Hearts Sing" by Sally Lloyd-Jones. 

"When you were little, did someone big ever carry you?  Did you rest your head on his shoulder, lean your whole weight on him?  Faith is leaning your whole weight on God.  Resting your head on his shoulder.  Faith means resting - relying - not on who we are, or what we can do, or how we feel, or what we know.  Faith is resting in who God is and what he has done.  And he has done EVERYTHING."  It occurs to me that I could carry Abby sleeping in my arms all the way to China (figuratively speaking... she's heavy!), and when she wakes up, she would be in China although she never actually took a single step.  Somehow, we might actually see a church grow here in Rock Hill, SC, and it's like we're just "waking up" to what God has been doing. 

Because this is our first service, we aren't promoting it much because we know there will be details and kinks to work out (like who is going to take care of certain details Sunday morning, exactly what would be the best way to direct people through the YMCA maze to the room where we are meeting, etc.)  We've invited the few people who have already "joined up" with us and some others who have expressed interest in gathering with the Vineyard.  For all we know, there may only be 10 of us there this Sunday, but there will definitely be the presence of the Lord.  We feel like the little kid being carried in his Daddy's arms, and we know that's the only way to keep building a "church." 

I was thinking this morning of all the ways God has provided for our church, and all the people he has "perfectly" aligned with us.  When Ben needed to buy a computer for the church, he talked to one friend who knew exactly what we needed and even donated some money toward it.  When we needed to research printers, he talked to a friend in the printer business who just said "Here's what you need and here's how to get the best deal."  Same thing with projectors.  It would have taken us FOREVER to sort through all the details trying to figure out that stuff, but we "happened" to know just the right people to talk to.  We needed a logo, a website, and a million other little papers... no problem, we've got an awesome graphic designer on our team (Lindsey.)  We needed signs for the church.  Lindsey kicked butt designing them and Mike works for a sign company who donated the signs.  (We just had to buy the stands.)  We needed sound equipment and microphones.  Karl knew the details of what was important to get, and amazingly, instead of tracking down each piece of equipment (using a pretty strict budget), he found a church about an hour away that sold us EVERYTHING we needed (minus a microphone) for close to HALF the price of what it was worth.  (Side note: it turns out Karl is also amazing at putting down quarter-round and flooring... a fact that has come in very handy to us in our new house. :)) Ben ordered a projector through amazon.com, but before it processed, a Vineyard pastor 2 hours away texted and said, "Hey, do you guys need a projector?  We've got a really good extra one you can have."  Just in time to cancel the amazon order at no cost. :)

 I'm still amazed that God moved people here with us from two parts of Ohio and Kansas whose giftings are perfect... the Buchers are gifted worship leaders, Mike Zieber actually went to seminary specifically because of his calling to work with children and families (and kids FLOCK to him and Carrie and their girls), and the Hanfords are amazing at hospitality and naturally building deep relationships.  Plus, Seth's whole job is computer security so he knows all about techy stuff.... and kind of everything else.  (Seriously, he's a walking encyclopedia.  Sometimes when Micah asks me a question during homeschool and I don't want to take the time to look it up, I tell him to ask Seth next time we see him.)  Rachel has worked at Panera for years and loves to bake, so we're serving a GOOD breakfast every Sunday!  (Also, since Carrie is kind of a professional at making the best cheesecakes you've ever tasted, I'm sure we'll make that come in handy somewhere.  Winning people to the Lord one cheesecake at a time!)  I'm pretty sure Ben and I are just along for the ride with this group.  As long as Ben preaches a sermon now and then, I guess we'll earn our keep. :)

In other Ganson news, the painting and flooring is done in our new house (minus a few details), and we are starting to move things in.  There's still a million smaller things to be done, but it's definitely livable at this point!  Hopefully we'll be staying in it by next Thursday or Friday night... that might actually be possible, especially if any more soccer games get canceled due to weather like they were last night.

We've had a busy few weeks, and there's more to come.  Please pray for this Sunday especially!

We're still here!

It's been on my mind for a while now that I better post SOMETHING, so that no one thinks we're dead.  Here is my list of excuses for not posting anything in four months:

1)  My husband is super awesome at always sending out monthly church-planting updates via email.  He's kind of like clockwork.  So if you REALLY want to know what's going on (on a regular basis) and you haven't already asked to be on that email list, let us know and we'll add you!  His email address is ben@rockhillvineyard.org

2)  Ben also told me a while ago that he started a blog post (one of his "it's been a long time since I preached and I have thoughts that need to get out" posts), but it's been sitting in the draft page for a month or more.  So it's his fault too.

3)  There is some sort of radar in my kids that goes off when I am either on the computer or on the phone.  It signals that it is time to whine, cry, fight, cling, or otherwise cause havoc.  Thus I've acquired an aversion to sitting at the computer for longer than 10 minutes at a time.

4) I'm unfortunately task-oriented and a lover of efficiency.  And since this blog isn't always on the top of my list, and since reason #3 is detrimental to efficiency, I've pushed it off several times even though I kind of enjoy it.

Now that I am fully justified, here's a quick recap of where we're at:

• Summer was pretty relationship-heavy for everyone.  Since I knew playdates would be harder to do once homeschool started up again, I tried to get together with friends several times a week.   There was also some traveling, and a lot of our team traveled as well for family reunions, etc. 

• Mike and Carrie Zieber (Ben's sister) and their four girls moved to Rock Hill to help with the church plant, and since they bought a little fixer-upper, we've spent a good bit of time helping them get it all settled.  The Hanford's have also just moved into a house that Amanda's Dad bought here in Rock Hill.  Us Ganson's are looking for a house to buy so we can save a little money when our lease is up here in October.  (Rent in Rock Hill is ridiculous.  Buying, though a little more expensive than what we were used to in Ohio, is much more reasonable, and would save us a good amount of money every month.  Plus I could -hopefully - have STORAGE!!  And a washing machine that holds more than four towels!!  And a living room/dining room/kitchen area that is big enough for us to stop tripping over each other!! And NO light berber carpet that shows every piece of dirt!!!  (or shows orange soda that your friends spill on the carpet before you even move in) :)  Okay, in reality, I really am very thankful for the place we've been this year.  It has worked out great, and I'm glad we rented at first.  I just - as you can tell - have a few vices with the place. :)

• We just got back from a trip to Springfield.  It's the first time we've been back in 10 months and it was FANTASTIC.  We love so many people there like family, and it was especially good to visit VCN Sunday morning.  Ben preached and then we had a lunch afterward.  (When we pulled up to VCN, Caleb said, "THAT'S the church!  That's the church I wanted to go to!"  Every Sunday in South Carolina when we visit a church, Caleb always said, "Not this one!  The OTHER one!")

• We are still searching for a building in which to hold Sunday services.  Our hope was to do a monthly "preview" service October, November, and December, and then start weekly services in January, but if something doesn't open up soon we may have to postpone a little.  Ben had slowed down the search a little because the facility we really wanted seemed like it was going to work out, but in the end, the cost was too high.  There are still two other facilities that have expressed positive responses, but in true Southern style, it is very hard to nail down the person who needs to give the "yes" and to get a definite price.   This is becoming priority 1.

• When people ask "How is it going?" it's hard to know what to say because we're trying not to base our "success" on normal, objective things, like how many people are "members" or how many "converts" we've had.  We don't even have a Sunday morning service yet (or even structured "programs") which is when people tend to view us as "legitimate", so we can't tell you what attendance is like.  What we do know is that our team has done an awesome job at building authentic relationships with folks.  Of those people, some are definitely already following Christ, some are people who have some church background and would call themselves Christians but don't attend any church and might not be able to explain exactly what makes them a Christian , and a few are definitely not following Christ.   There's also several great examples of people who seem to be growing closer to Jesus, and who have caught a bit of a spark or interest.  I think we are close to being able to start two or three separate "community groups" within the next several months. If we started a Sunday service right now, our guess is that we might have between 30-50 people who would be regular attenders, but who knows!   According to our church planting coaches through the Vineyard, we are right on track, whatever that means!  :)  And ALL of that - if it's even accurate - is just a reflection of God's faithfulness because the past 10 months (or closer to a year for the rest of the team) has not seemed at all like we really dug in and worked hard.  There was a lot of hard emotional stuff that happened this year, and with lots of our team moving and issues with jobs and folks visiting from out-of-state and traveling ourselves, it's amazing that anyone on our team had time and energy to build relationships at all!  But somehow it's working. 

• For our family, we're also really praying for a new job breakthrough for Ben.  He continues to valet at the Charlotte airport three 10-hour days a week, but we'd love to have something closer for him.  Plus, the pay has decreased since the new valet company has taken over.  The management has recognized Ben's leadership potential, and they have talked about promoting Ben to a supervisor which would be fantastic financially, but we don't know if that will actually pan out or not.   Regardless, he has developed some great relationships with his co-workers.  (They unfortunately just all live 45 minutes away from us or more!)

We continue to covet your prayers.  We know the Lord has a plan for absolutely everything; pray that we would be discerning in where he is leading us and that we don't try to run ahead of him.



   

A few quick notes from Janelle....

• Tomorrow (Wednesday) is Ben's birthday.  The big 3-4!  Someone we recently met said he still looks like 25. I'm not sure if that's good or bad at this point. :)
• I now realize that I don't especially love meeting new people.  I just want to have good friends.  But you have to do one to get to the other!  (I apologize to those of you who knew me from age 2 through about age 21.  Somehow I used to be an extrovert by all appearances, but my theory is that was actually just immaturity.. either that or  I am now a mild introvert by default because "alone time" sounds so foreign and exotic since I have young children.)
• Soccer has been so, so good for our family.  Micah is truly loving it and I feel like there are a handful of really good relationships forming there between some of the other parents and us.  We've got two more games and an end-of-soccer celebration coming up, but we have plans to continue getting together with some of them beyond soccer season.
• We were SO BLESSED last week when a special friend sent us a check and told us to use it for a family membership to the YMCA.  He knew that we were considering it, but I'm not sure he knew how little room we had in our budget for it.  Everyone tells us that summer in South Carolina is kind of like winter up north... you just don't go outside the house (or in this case, outside of air conditioning).  We've been so easily interacting with people the past month or so because of the amazing weather, so we wanted to find someplace we could expect to build relationships INDOORS in the summer.  I've already acquainted myself with a few women in some of the classes (I've only been to two classes, but I already have a new facebook friend from one of them! :))  and Ben is looking into some groups of guys that get together to play basketball.  It feels like this is going to be a really good opportunity for us, both relationally and physically!  Plus, the cool thing is that the night before we found out we were getting this check, Micah had just prayed at bedtime that we'd be able to join the Y.  (He wants to play racquetball with Ben.)  Ben shared about Micah's prayer with a guy at work, and his response was, "Hey, get that kid to pray for me!" :)
• This past Saturday evening was probably one of the most fun evenings we've had since we've been here.  The weather was BEAUTIFUL so we sent out a message to most everyone we know that we were going to meet up at a local playground that has some picnic areas.  Most of OUR new friends couldn't make it, but we had lots of friends-of-friends there, and it was just an awesome evening of hanging out with  15 or so people (plus a whole gaggle of kids).  We even made some new friends at the park.  
• It feels like our net is spreading wide, so to speak.  We (and our other team members) have lots of relationships forming or slowly growing.  It's sometimes hard to know which ones to pursue more intentionally and deeply, and which ones the Lord doesn't plan to go much further.  We'll just keep praying for those people we encounter, and try to follow the Lord's leading in all of this.  We're praying for a lot of "natural" conversations, and this seems to be happening regularly. 
• I'd better be off to bed.  Abby has (another) stomach bug, and I'm guessing a full night's rest is probably not in the books for either of us.  We love and miss you all!

Rain Clouds and Silver Linings

I suppose it's about time for another update.  (Thank you, AGAIN, to my sister-in-law Machelle for emailing me to say "so what's up?"  Updating this blog is often on my to-do list; it's just a matter of getting the "other stuff"... you know, like "feed and educate children"... OFF the list.) :)

To quote a better writer than myself, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...." 
 This past month or so has been hard on our team in many ways, especially the Hanfords. I guess I'll start with the yucky stuff first and get that out of the way.

 As most of you know, Amanda's mom, Sue, was diagnosed with cancer back in November, and it has suddenly begun to progress rapidly.  Doctors are no longer able to provide any treatments for her and she has been put in hospice care.  The Hanfords are in Ohio this weekend with their family.  If you pray for anything surrounding this church plant, please pray for this sweet family who has already been through so much. 

We're also waiting to see what the Lord has planned for Mike and Carrie Zieber who are committed to joining us in Rock Hill as soon as Mike can find employment here.  It seemed for a while like there was an almost-perfect fit at a sign company here in town, but the discussions there have drug on and fizzled out to the point that it looks like it probably won't work out.  So they keep searching, and we all keep waiting.

Ben has also stepped up the job search/applications once again (although, honestly, he's never stopped looking since we got here.)  He's still scheduled every afternoon to work a couple hours as a traffic cop for a local school system, and twice a week as a valet at the Charlotte airport.  With the end of the school year 2 months away, we've known we need to find something to replace the traffic cop job.  But a couple weeks ago we also learned the valet company lost their contract with the airport, so that job will be gone in June as well.  (They also sent out an e-mail to their employees this past week warning them that they will begin laying people off sooner rather than later, so we really don't know how much longer Ben will have a job there.)  We would LOVE it if Ben could find a decent-paying job here in Rock Hill with early morning/daytime hours (as opposed to evening hours) and good interaction with people. 

Rachel has been struggling trying to get enough hours at Panera to keep her budget afloat, while also desiring a daytime job instead of 3rd shift.   It looks like an on-call part-time job with another company has opened up for her, so that's great, but something still needs to change with her Panera employment situation!

On a totally DIFFERENT end of the spectrum, Karl Bucher is swamped with work and working long hours in construction/restoration/whatever it is he does.  We're praying for change there as well, either a decrease in hours or a totally different job.  This man has got some serious skills in wood-working and leather-work as well as horse-training, so it would be great if he could eventually provide for his family using a combination of these things he loves.

SO.... our team hasn't quite been just frolicking through a field of daisies, BUT there's an awful lot of good stuff happening too:

First of all, we had Ben's parents visit for an entire month!   We've never had either set of parents living in the same city as us, and I have to say it was WONDERFUL to have "Grandma and Grandpa" here.  They were such a huge help with the kids and our schedules, plus it was great to have someone of a "more mature generation" in our Community Group time.  And besides that, we just like them. :)

Ben started coaching a city soccer team two weeks ago.  Micah LOVES it and looks forward to every Tuesday and Thursday evening.  It's just been practices so far and one little scrimmage game, but I have to admit, I haven't seen hardly a thing that happens on the field because I'm chatting with the parents on the sidelines.  There are a couple of moms who seem especially "natural" to connect with, and Ben has been enjoying some of the dads.  I'm hoping some of these folks are ones the Lord has "planned" for us.  Our other team members have also been experiencing some really great breakthroughs in meeting and getting to know folks, especially since it's light out in the evenings and we have warmer days more and more frequently.  (Side note:  This winter has been unusually snowy/cloudy/chilly for South Carolina, but it feels like an AMAZING winter compared to what we're used to in Ohio.  I can't overstate what it does for one's spirit to see so much SUNSHINE during these winter months!  I am constantly thankful for that.)

We had a few people tell us a while back that here in the south, we would probably find that it's easy to meet people, but difficult to get "below the surface."  Now that we've been here a few months, we're seeing bits and pieces of that.  There are some relationships that naturally won't progress much further, like our neighbors (one of the first couples we had over for dinner) who are moving back to Charleston in a couple of weeks.  Some relationships we originally formed have fizzled a little because of complications in schedules or sicknesses.  (I think I've had play dates scheduled with one friend at least 5 times that had to be canceled because first her kids were sick, then my kids were sick, then her in-laws came for the week, and so on...)  Other relationships seem to be deepening slowly but surely.  So I guess we'll just keep moving forward, trying to stay sensitive to whatever the Lord is doing in each relationship. 

A really great book our team has been going through is called "The Tangible Kingdom" by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay.  These guys kind of "accidently" built a church just by building relationships with folks (no strings attached), and the book has been both a big encouragement and also a little daunting (like when they mentioned that they found it often took about 2 years for most of their relationships to deepen to the point where they had some "open doors" spiritually.)   I think we've slowly been changing our mindsight from "We're here to build a church" to the mindset of "We're here to love people... and we're thinking in the midst of that, a church will be formed."

One of those things that seems to be a "God thing" is our new involvement with a place called Pilgrim's Inn.  This is a place in town where homeless women and children  can stay and get back on their feet.  It's a very "holistic" approach, helping the women find jobs, get the support they need, find a place to live, totally transform their lives.  We've been serving and eating dinner with them "family style" the last Wednesday of each month, and it has been a very natural, wonderful fit for our team.  We're also thinking the Lord might have more in store for us there... this may be a possible place for Lindsey to start out leading Refit exercise classes, maybe even for us to start some Sunday morning services.  These have just been thoughts or ideas so far, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Lord connects us more deeply with this organization and the women living there. 

Speaking of Sunday mornings, we have absolutely nothing in stone, but at this point we are leaning towards starting regular Sunday morning gatherings in January.  We'll probably do some "preview services" in the late fall, and maybe start doing some small "in home" services before that. 

So that's the nutshell version of our life today.  (Actually, if you want to know specifically what TODAY looked like, we skipped church because of yet another intestinal/stomach bug - the Buchers have it too - and I just put Caleb in time out for purposely farting on his brother AGAIN.  It's a rainy, movie-watching kind of day, but more sunshine should be on its way later in the week.)

 I'm still trying to figure out a more efficient way to move pictures from my phone to my computer, but when I do, I'll put a few up here. :)


****Sad update: about an hour after I published this blog post, we got the call that Sue, Amanda's Mom, has passed away.  I know they could use lots of prayers.***

The Most Painful Blessing

Guest post by Seth and Amanda Hanford

Many of you may not know this, but Amanda and I started to pursue adoption shortly after moving to Rock Hill. We arrived in August and sought out an attorney in early September. We had been thinking to do this back in Ohio but with the move, we were just nervous about getting things started with the uncertainty of selling a house and moving while part way through such a process.

Some of you we had a chance to tell when we came back to Ohio around Thanksgiving, but one of our early commitments in the process was that, for the sake of the birth mom and the baby, we would not post about it on social media. Unfortunately I'm able to write about it now because the adoption was disrupted. Even still, there are aspects that we won't disclose publicly because of the possibility that the birth mother might change her mind down the road and revisit the reasons she sought out adoption to begin with, and come back to us asking us to adopt this baby after all.

Since November, Amanda had been developing an ongoing relationship with the birth mom, texting and talking a dozen or more times a day. We had been eagerly getting things ready around the house to welcome our new daughter home. Maddie had been practicing all the things a big sister would need to know --ensuring us that when her baby sister arrived, she would be the one to care for her; we wouldn't have to help, because big sisters know what to do. We took a trip to meet our birth mother, and bought her lunch. From all outward signs, she was excited and engaged, ready to and even looking forward to placing her baby with us.

On Friday, we left Maddie with the Gansons and made the trip to be close by because the birth was imminent. On early Saturday morning, our daughter was born. We had some ups and downs because birth can be a little scary at times, but our birth mom's family and friends were welcoming of us and were very supportive and excited for us. Mom and baby were healthy, though, and we settled in to that exciting discomfort of a new baby with, for a few days, two moms. Amanda spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter. The birth mom spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter

But on Sunday, it all fell apart. Despite all of the love and connections we had made in our heart with our daughter, we were asked to leave. Despite all the tears and anger and uncertainty of what the rest of her life would be like, we knew that our daughter would remain with her birth mother. Despite all of the pain and denial, we knew that our daughter was lost to us. An advisor told us this week to grieve with the perspective that an adoption disrupted after birth is more like experiencing a stillbirth or infant death; we agree.

Even still, we are blessed. Throughout the process, our friends and family have been here for us. Our neighbors, whom we've known for just a few short months, have been some of our best companions in this journey. Even though they and our friends from back home didn't KNOW what was happening on Sunday afternoon, we were absolutely bombarded by prayers, emails, text messages of support and comfort. At least 10 people reached out nearly simultaneously on Sunday with words like "Hey, hope things are going well; for some reason right now, you are on my heart and I knew I needed to write to you. Love ya!"

As we come out of this week, we are reminded of two verses:

In John 8, as Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees and the woman caught in adultery, he stood between their rocks and her vulnerability. He bent down next to her and reassured her that He was there. After He dismissed them, He continued to reassure her. Regardless of the fact that she had indeed transgressed against Him, He was her advocate first and foremost. We, likewise, feel that strong call to be our birth mom's advocate and a blessing to her first, even though her ultimate decision has wounded us.

And then in 1 Peter 3, we are reminded that even when we are suffering, we are blessed, because we suffer for righteousness.

We are heartbroken. But our God is bigger than our grief. We are convinced that we were put in our birth mom's life to walk with her through the last months of her pregnancy. We know that we were chosen for this situation because we could handle the loss. We know that our Savior stood with us from the early days, preparing and supporting us for this eventual, painful decision. He moved the hearts of our friends in unison to support us, prompting them to surround us with care and support in our hour of need. We know that He needed us to be an advocate for our birth mom and for her daughter, at great expense to us but for their great blessing.

We will always have a wound from the trial we endured this weekend. We hope that our birth mom and her daughter will have a great life together. We don't know where to go from here, but we know Who is with us, and we are thankful for you and for all those who have helped us to make it through this week.