- Tomorrow (Wednesday) is Ben's birthday. The big 3-4! Someone we recently met said he still looks like 25. I'm not sure if that's good or bad at this point. :)
- I now realize that I don't especially love meeting new people. I just want to have good friends. But you have to do one to get to the other! (I apologize to those of you who knew me from age 2 through about age 21. Somehow I used to be an extrovert by all appearances, but my theory is that was actually just immaturity.. either that or I am now a mild introvert by default because "alone time" sounds so foreign and exotic since I have young children.)
- Soccer has been so, so good for our family. Micah is truly loving it and I feel like there are a handful of really good relationships forming there between some of the other parents and us. We've got two more games and an end-of-soccer celebration coming up, but we have plans to continue getting together with some of them beyond soccer season.
- We were SO BLESSED last week when a special friend sent us a check and told us to use it for a family membership to the YMCA. He knew that we were considering it, but I'm not sure he knew how little room we had in our budget for it. Everyone tells us that summer in South Carolina is kind of like winter up north... you just don't go outside the house (or in this case, outside of air conditioning). We've been so easily interacting with people the past month or so because of the amazing weather, so we wanted to find someplace we could expect to build relationships INDOORS in the summer. I've already acquainted myself with a few women in some of the classes (I've only been to two classes, but I already have a new facebook friend from one of them! :)) and Ben is looking into some groups of guys that get together to play basketball. It feels like this is going to be a really good opportunity for us, both relationally and physically! Plus, the cool thing is that the night before we found out we were getting this check, Micah had just prayed at bedtime that we'd be able to join the Y. (He wants to play racquetball with Ben.) Ben shared about Micah's prayer with a guy at work, and his response was, "Hey, get that kid to pray for me!" :)
- This past Saturday evening was probably one of the most fun evenings we've had since we've been here. The weather was BEAUTIFUL so we sent out a message to most everyone we know that we were going to meet up at a local playground that has some picnic areas. Most of OUR new friends couldn't make it, but we had lots of friends-of-friends there, and it was just an awesome evening of hanging out with 15 or so people (plus a whole gaggle of kids). We even made some new friends at the park.
- It feels like our net is spreading wide, so to speak. We (and our other team members) have lots of relationships forming or slowly growing. It's sometimes hard to know which ones to pursue more intentionally and deeply, and which ones the Lord doesn't plan to go much further. We'll just keep praying for those people we encounter, and try to follow the Lord's leading in all of this. We're praying for a lot of "natural" conversations, and this seems to be happening regularly.
- I'd better be off to bed. Abby has (another) stomach bug, and I'm guessing a full night's rest is probably not in the books for either of us. We love and miss you all!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
A few quick notes from Janelle....
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Rain Clouds and Silver Linings
I suppose it's about time for another update. (Thank you, AGAIN, to my sister-in-law Machelle for emailing me to say "so what's up?" Updating this blog is often on my to-do list; it's just a matter of getting the "other stuff"... you know, like "feed and educate children"... OFF the list.) :)
To quote a better writer than myself, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...."
This past month or so has been hard on our team in many ways, especially the Hanfords. I guess I'll start with the yucky stuff first and get that out of the way.
As most of you know, Amanda's mom, Sue, was diagnosed with cancer back in November, and it has suddenly begun to progress rapidly. Doctors are no longer able to provide any treatments for her and she has been put in hospice care. The Hanfords are in Ohio this weekend with their family. If you pray for anything surrounding this church plant, please pray for this sweet family who has already been through so much.
We're also waiting to see what the Lord has planned for Mike and Carrie Zieber who are committed to joining us in Rock Hill as soon as Mike can find employment here. It seemed for a while like there was an almost-perfect fit at a sign company here in town, but the discussions there have drug on and fizzled out to the point that it looks like it probably won't work out. So they keep searching, and we all keep waiting.
Ben has also stepped up the job search/applications once again (although, honestly, he's never stopped looking since we got here.) He's still scheduled every afternoon to work a couple hours as a traffic cop for a local school system, and twice a week as a valet at the Charlotte airport. With the end of the school year 2 months away, we've known we need to find something to replace the traffic cop job. But a couple weeks ago we also learned the valet company lost their contract with the airport, so that job will be gone in June as well. (They also sent out an e-mail to their employees this past week warning them that they will begin laying people off sooner rather than later, so we really don't know how much longer Ben will have a job there.) We would LOVE it if Ben could find a decent-paying job here in Rock Hill with early morning/daytime hours (as opposed to evening hours) and good interaction with people.
Rachel has been struggling trying to get enough hours at Panera to keep her budget afloat, while also desiring a daytime job instead of 3rd shift. It looks like an on-call part-time job with another company has opened up for her, so that's great, but something still needs to change with her Panera employment situation!
On a totally DIFFERENT end of the spectrum, Karl Bucher is swamped with work and working long hours in construction/restoration/whatever it is he does. We're praying for change there as well, either a decrease in hours or a totally different job. This man has got some serious skills in wood-working and leather-work as well as horse-training, so it would be great if he could eventually provide for his family using a combination of these things he loves.
SO.... our team hasn't quite been just frolicking through a field of daisies, BUT there's an awful lot of good stuff happening too:
First of all, we had Ben's parents visit for an entire month! We've never had either set of parents living in the same city as us, and I have to say it was WONDERFUL to have "Grandma and Grandpa" here. They were such a huge help with the kids and our schedules, plus it was great to have someone of a "more mature generation" in our Community Group time. And besides that, we just like them. :)
Ben started coaching a city soccer team two weeks ago. Micah LOVES it and looks forward to every Tuesday and Thursday evening. It's just been practices so far and one little scrimmage game, but I have to admit, I haven't seen hardly a thing that happens on the field because I'm chatting with the parents on the sidelines. There are a couple of moms who seem especially "natural" to connect with, and Ben has been enjoying some of the dads. I'm hoping some of these folks are ones the Lord has "planned" for us. Our other team members have also been experiencing some really great breakthroughs in meeting and getting to know folks, especially since it's light out in the evenings and we have warmer days more and more frequently. (Side note: This winter has been unusually snowy/cloudy/chilly for South Carolina, but it feels like an AMAZING winter compared to what we're used to in Ohio. I can't overstate what it does for one's spirit to see so much SUNSHINE during these winter months! I am constantly thankful for that.)
We had a few people tell us a while back that here in the south, we would probably find that it's easy to meet people, but difficult to get "below the surface." Now that we've been here a few months, we're seeing bits and pieces of that. There are some relationships that naturally won't progress much further, like our neighbors (one of the first couples we had over for dinner) who are moving back to Charleston in a couple of weeks. Some relationships we originally formed have fizzled a little because of complications in schedules or sicknesses. (I think I've had play dates scheduled with one friend at least 5 times that had to be canceled because first her kids were sick, then my kids were sick, then her in-laws came for the week, and so on...) Other relationships seem to be deepening slowly but surely. So I guess we'll just keep moving forward, trying to stay sensitive to whatever the Lord is doing in each relationship.
A really great book our team has been going through is called "The Tangible Kingdom" by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay. These guys kind of "accidently" built a church just by building relationships with folks (no strings attached), and the book has been both a big encouragement and also a little daunting (like when they mentioned that they found it often took about 2 years for most of their relationships to deepen to the point where they had some "open doors" spiritually.) I think we've slowly been changing our mindsight from "We're here to build a church" to the mindset of "We're here to love people... and we're thinking in the midst of that, a church will be formed."
One of those things that seems to be a "God thing" is our new involvement with a place called Pilgrim's Inn. This is a place in town where homeless women and children can stay and get back on their feet. It's a very "holistic" approach, helping the women find jobs, get the support they need, find a place to live, totally transform their lives. We've been serving and eating dinner with them "family style" the last Wednesday of each month, and it has been a very natural, wonderful fit for our team. We're also thinking the Lord might have more in store for us there... this may be a possible place for Lindsey to start out leading Refit exercise classes, maybe even for us to start some Sunday morning services. These have just been thoughts or ideas so far, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Lord connects us more deeply with this organization and the women living there.
Speaking of Sunday mornings, we have absolutely nothing in stone, but at this point we are leaning towards starting regular Sunday morning gatherings in January. We'll probably do some "preview services" in the late fall, and maybe start doing some small "in home" services before that.
So that's the nutshell version of our life today. (Actually, if you want to know specifically what TODAY looked like, we skipped church because of yet another intestinal/stomach bug - the Buchers have it too - and I just put Caleb in time out for purposely farting on his brother AGAIN. It's a rainy, movie-watching kind of day, but more sunshine should be on its way later in the week.)
I'm still trying to figure out a more efficient way to move pictures from my phone to my computer, but when I do, I'll put a few up here. :)
****Sad update: about an hour after I published this blog post, we got the call that Sue, Amanda's Mom, has passed away. I know they could use lots of prayers.***
To quote a better writer than myself, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...."
This past month or so has been hard on our team in many ways, especially the Hanfords. I guess I'll start with the yucky stuff first and get that out of the way.
As most of you know, Amanda's mom, Sue, was diagnosed with cancer back in November, and it has suddenly begun to progress rapidly. Doctors are no longer able to provide any treatments for her and she has been put in hospice care. The Hanfords are in Ohio this weekend with their family. If you pray for anything surrounding this church plant, please pray for this sweet family who has already been through so much.
We're also waiting to see what the Lord has planned for Mike and Carrie Zieber who are committed to joining us in Rock Hill as soon as Mike can find employment here. It seemed for a while like there was an almost-perfect fit at a sign company here in town, but the discussions there have drug on and fizzled out to the point that it looks like it probably won't work out. So they keep searching, and we all keep waiting.
Ben has also stepped up the job search/applications once again (although, honestly, he's never stopped looking since we got here.) He's still scheduled every afternoon to work a couple hours as a traffic cop for a local school system, and twice a week as a valet at the Charlotte airport. With the end of the school year 2 months away, we've known we need to find something to replace the traffic cop job. But a couple weeks ago we also learned the valet company lost their contract with the airport, so that job will be gone in June as well. (They also sent out an e-mail to their employees this past week warning them that they will begin laying people off sooner rather than later, so we really don't know how much longer Ben will have a job there.) We would LOVE it if Ben could find a decent-paying job here in Rock Hill with early morning/daytime hours (as opposed to evening hours) and good interaction with people.
Rachel has been struggling trying to get enough hours at Panera to keep her budget afloat, while also desiring a daytime job instead of 3rd shift. It looks like an on-call part-time job with another company has opened up for her, so that's great, but something still needs to change with her Panera employment situation!
On a totally DIFFERENT end of the spectrum, Karl Bucher is swamped with work and working long hours in construction/restoration/whatever it is he does. We're praying for change there as well, either a decrease in hours or a totally different job. This man has got some serious skills in wood-working and leather-work as well as horse-training, so it would be great if he could eventually provide for his family using a combination of these things he loves.
SO.... our team hasn't quite been just frolicking through a field of daisies, BUT there's an awful lot of good stuff happening too:
First of all, we had Ben's parents visit for an entire month! We've never had either set of parents living in the same city as us, and I have to say it was WONDERFUL to have "Grandma and Grandpa" here. They were such a huge help with the kids and our schedules, plus it was great to have someone of a "more mature generation" in our Community Group time. And besides that, we just like them. :)
Ben started coaching a city soccer team two weeks ago. Micah LOVES it and looks forward to every Tuesday and Thursday evening. It's just been practices so far and one little scrimmage game, but I have to admit, I haven't seen hardly a thing that happens on the field because I'm chatting with the parents on the sidelines. There are a couple of moms who seem especially "natural" to connect with, and Ben has been enjoying some of the dads. I'm hoping some of these folks are ones the Lord has "planned" for us. Our other team members have also been experiencing some really great breakthroughs in meeting and getting to know folks, especially since it's light out in the evenings and we have warmer days more and more frequently. (Side note: This winter has been unusually snowy/cloudy/chilly for South Carolina, but it feels like an AMAZING winter compared to what we're used to in Ohio. I can't overstate what it does for one's spirit to see so much SUNSHINE during these winter months! I am constantly thankful for that.)
We had a few people tell us a while back that here in the south, we would probably find that it's easy to meet people, but difficult to get "below the surface." Now that we've been here a few months, we're seeing bits and pieces of that. There are some relationships that naturally won't progress much further, like our neighbors (one of the first couples we had over for dinner) who are moving back to Charleston in a couple of weeks. Some relationships we originally formed have fizzled a little because of complications in schedules or sicknesses. (I think I've had play dates scheduled with one friend at least 5 times that had to be canceled because first her kids were sick, then my kids were sick, then her in-laws came for the week, and so on...) Other relationships seem to be deepening slowly but surely. So I guess we'll just keep moving forward, trying to stay sensitive to whatever the Lord is doing in each relationship.
A really great book our team has been going through is called "The Tangible Kingdom" by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay. These guys kind of "accidently" built a church just by building relationships with folks (no strings attached), and the book has been both a big encouragement and also a little daunting (like when they mentioned that they found it often took about 2 years for most of their relationships to deepen to the point where they had some "open doors" spiritually.) I think we've slowly been changing our mindsight from "We're here to build a church" to the mindset of "We're here to love people... and we're thinking in the midst of that, a church will be formed."
One of those things that seems to be a "God thing" is our new involvement with a place called Pilgrim's Inn. This is a place in town where homeless women and children can stay and get back on their feet. It's a very "holistic" approach, helping the women find jobs, get the support they need, find a place to live, totally transform their lives. We've been serving and eating dinner with them "family style" the last Wednesday of each month, and it has been a very natural, wonderful fit for our team. We're also thinking the Lord might have more in store for us there... this may be a possible place for Lindsey to start out leading Refit exercise classes, maybe even for us to start some Sunday morning services. These have just been thoughts or ideas so far, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Lord connects us more deeply with this organization and the women living there.
Speaking of Sunday mornings, we have absolutely nothing in stone, but at this point we are leaning towards starting regular Sunday morning gatherings in January. We'll probably do some "preview services" in the late fall, and maybe start doing some small "in home" services before that.
So that's the nutshell version of our life today. (Actually, if you want to know specifically what TODAY looked like, we skipped church because of yet another intestinal/stomach bug - the Buchers have it too - and I just put Caleb in time out for purposely farting on his brother AGAIN. It's a rainy, movie-watching kind of day, but more sunshine should be on its way later in the week.)
I'm still trying to figure out a more efficient way to move pictures from my phone to my computer, but when I do, I'll put a few up here. :)
****Sad update: about an hour after I published this blog post, we got the call that Sue, Amanda's Mom, has passed away. I know they could use lots of prayers.***
Friday, January 31, 2014
The Most Painful Blessing
Guest post by Seth and Amanda Hanford
Many of you may not know this, but Amanda and I started to pursue adoption shortly after moving to Rock Hill. We arrived in August and sought out an attorney in early September. We had been thinking to do this back in Ohio but with the move, we were just nervous about getting things started with the uncertainty of selling a house and moving while part way through such a process.
Some of you we had a chance to tell when we came back to Ohio around Thanksgiving, but one of our early commitments in the process was that, for the sake of the birth mom and the baby, we would not post about it on social media. Unfortunately I'm able to write about it now because the adoption was disrupted. Even still, there are aspects that we won't disclose publicly because of the possibility that the birth mother might change her mind down the road and revisit the reasons she sought out adoption to begin with, and come back to us asking us to adopt this baby after all.
Since November, Amanda had been developing an ongoing relationship with the birth mom, texting and talking a dozen or more times a day. We had been eagerly getting things ready around the house to welcome our new daughter home. Maddie had been practicing all the things a big sister would need to know --ensuring us that when her baby sister arrived, she would be the one to care for her; we wouldn't have to help, because big sisters know what to do. We took a trip to meet our birth mother, and bought her lunch. From all outward signs, she was excited and engaged, ready to and even looking forward to placing her baby with us.
On Friday, we left Maddie with the Gansons and made the trip to be close by because the birth was imminent. On early Saturday morning, our daughter was born. We had some ups and downs because birth can be a little scary at times, but our birth mom's family and friends were welcoming of us and were very supportive and excited for us. Mom and baby were healthy, though, and we settled in to that exciting discomfort of a new baby with, for a few days, two moms. Amanda spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter. The birth mom spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter
But on Sunday, it all fell apart. Despite all of the love and connections we had made in our heart with our daughter, we were asked to leave. Despite all the tears and anger and uncertainty of what the rest of her life would be like, we knew that our daughter would remain with her birth mother. Despite all of the pain and denial, we knew that our daughter was lost to us. An advisor told us this week to grieve with the perspective that an adoption disrupted after birth is more like experiencing a stillbirth or infant death; we agree.
Even still, we are blessed. Throughout the process, our friends and family have been here for us. Our neighbors, whom we've known for just a few short months, have been some of our best companions in this journey. Even though they and our friends from back home didn't KNOW what was happening on Sunday afternoon, we were absolutely bombarded by prayers, emails, text messages of support and comfort. At least 10 people reached out nearly simultaneously on Sunday with words like "Hey, hope things are going well; for some reason right now, you are on my heart and I knew I needed to write to you. Love ya!"
As we come out of this week, we are reminded of two verses:
In John 8, as Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees and the woman caught in adultery, he stood between their rocks and her vulnerability. He bent down next to her and reassured her that He was there. After He dismissed them, He continued to reassure her. Regardless of the fact that she had indeed transgressed against Him, He was her advocate first and foremost. We, likewise, feel that strong call to be our birth mom's advocate and a blessing to her first, even though her ultimate decision has wounded us.
And then in 1 Peter 3, we are reminded that even when we are suffering, we are blessed, because we suffer for righteousness.
We are heartbroken. But our God is bigger than our grief. We are convinced that we were put in our birth mom's life to walk with her through the last months of her pregnancy. We know that we were chosen for this situation because we could handle the loss. We know that our Savior stood with us from the early days, preparing and supporting us for this eventual, painful decision. He moved the hearts of our friends in unison to support us, prompting them to surround us with care and support in our hour of need. We know that He needed us to be an advocate for our birth mom and for her daughter, at great expense to us but for their great blessing.
We will always have a wound from the trial we endured this weekend. We hope that our birth mom and her daughter will have a great life together. We don't know where to go from here, but we know Who is with us, and we are thankful for you and for all those who have helped us to make it through this week.
Many of you may not know this, but Amanda and I started to pursue adoption shortly after moving to Rock Hill. We arrived in August and sought out an attorney in early September. We had been thinking to do this back in Ohio but with the move, we were just nervous about getting things started with the uncertainty of selling a house and moving while part way through such a process.
Some of you we had a chance to tell when we came back to Ohio around Thanksgiving, but one of our early commitments in the process was that, for the sake of the birth mom and the baby, we would not post about it on social media. Unfortunately I'm able to write about it now because the adoption was disrupted. Even still, there are aspects that we won't disclose publicly because of the possibility that the birth mother might change her mind down the road and revisit the reasons she sought out adoption to begin with, and come back to us asking us to adopt this baby after all.
Since November, Amanda had been developing an ongoing relationship with the birth mom, texting and talking a dozen or more times a day. We had been eagerly getting things ready around the house to welcome our new daughter home. Maddie had been practicing all the things a big sister would need to know --ensuring us that when her baby sister arrived, she would be the one to care for her; we wouldn't have to help, because big sisters know what to do. We took a trip to meet our birth mother, and bought her lunch. From all outward signs, she was excited and engaged, ready to and even looking forward to placing her baby with us.
On Friday, we left Maddie with the Gansons and made the trip to be close by because the birth was imminent. On early Saturday morning, our daughter was born. We had some ups and downs because birth can be a little scary at times, but our birth mom's family and friends were welcoming of us and were very supportive and excited for us. Mom and baby were healthy, though, and we settled in to that exciting discomfort of a new baby with, for a few days, two moms. Amanda spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter. The birth mom spent all day Saturday feeding, changing, bonding with, and loving her daughter
But on Sunday, it all fell apart. Despite all of the love and connections we had made in our heart with our daughter, we were asked to leave. Despite all the tears and anger and uncertainty of what the rest of her life would be like, we knew that our daughter would remain with her birth mother. Despite all of the pain and denial, we knew that our daughter was lost to us. An advisor told us this week to grieve with the perspective that an adoption disrupted after birth is more like experiencing a stillbirth or infant death; we agree.
Even still, we are blessed. Throughout the process, our friends and family have been here for us. Our neighbors, whom we've known for just a few short months, have been some of our best companions in this journey. Even though they and our friends from back home didn't KNOW what was happening on Sunday afternoon, we were absolutely bombarded by prayers, emails, text messages of support and comfort. At least 10 people reached out nearly simultaneously on Sunday with words like "Hey, hope things are going well; for some reason right now, you are on my heart and I knew I needed to write to you. Love ya!"
As we come out of this week, we are reminded of two verses:
In John 8, as Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees and the woman caught in adultery, he stood between their rocks and her vulnerability. He bent down next to her and reassured her that He was there. After He dismissed them, He continued to reassure her. Regardless of the fact that she had indeed transgressed against Him, He was her advocate first and foremost. We, likewise, feel that strong call to be our birth mom's advocate and a blessing to her first, even though her ultimate decision has wounded us.
And then in 1 Peter 3, we are reminded that even when we are suffering, we are blessed, because we suffer for righteousness.
We are heartbroken. But our God is bigger than our grief. We are convinced that we were put in our birth mom's life to walk with her through the last months of her pregnancy. We know that we were chosen for this situation because we could handle the loss. We know that our Savior stood with us from the early days, preparing and supporting us for this eventual, painful decision. He moved the hearts of our friends in unison to support us, prompting them to surround us with care and support in our hour of need. We know that He needed us to be an advocate for our birth mom and for her daughter, at great expense to us but for their great blessing.
We will always have a wound from the trial we endured this weekend. We hope that our birth mom and her daughter will have a great life together. We don't know where to go from here, but we know Who is with us, and we are thankful for you and for all those who have helped us to make it through this week.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
An update from the female half...
Since Ben has already shared his latest "deep thoughts", I figured it's my turn to share the stories and details of how things are going. Warning, I am wordier than my husband. (Shocker.)
Quick recap: we've been here for about two and a half months.
Weeks 1 and 2: unpacking, trying to figure out how not to get lost, a little crying (no need to name names...ahem...) and meeting some neighbors. Job search begins.
About 3 weeks in: we started having some new friends over for dinner. More job searching.
At week 4, we left for two weeks to make holiday visits to each of our families. (Although Ben's parents got the short end of the stick since Abby was sick the whole time we visited them, and ended up in the hospital for three days.) We got back to South Carolina and quarantined ourselves for an additional 5 days while Abby totally recovered. (And Ben job searched.)
Around week 7: We had about a week and a half of "normal life", in which we tried to set up a routine and get to know some more folks... and job searched... then Christmas happened in there somewhere ... and then we once again had to quarantine ourselves for a few days while some nasty sinus colds/coughs/earaches ran their course through our home. Ben's parents came down for a quick visit around New Year's. Have I mentioned Ben spent a lot of time job searching?
Last weekend we had to take another "unexpected" trip to Maryland for my grandmother's funeral (as much as that can be "unexpected" for a 92 year old woman who needed to go home!) While we were there, Ben got a call to come in for a job interview.
BUT... we are well into January and I ***THINK*** normal life is right around the corner. Ben has started working part time as a traffic cop through one of the "rich" school systems about 15-20 minutes from here. It's not ideal because it's not quite enough hours to meet our budget, and it will only last through the school year, but it's better than nothing! He works from 7-8:30 in the morning, then again from 2:00-3:30 in the afternoon, so that gives us some time with him during the day, and he can set up coffee meetings around lunchtime. He can get in some good prayer time while waiting for the school buses, and let's not underestimate the cool-factor of telling all the rich cars what to do. ("That's right, Lexus, you'll stop when he tells you to stop!") Plus he has a glow-in-the-dark wand which is kind of like a light saber. :)
Sometimes it feels like we've been here forever and we're like, "why does this move so SLOOOOOWLY????" Because, you know, it takes time for relationships to form and grow. And then at other times we realize we haven't been here all that long, and despite the "random busyness" of the past couple of months, we have undoubtedly seen God lining up some divine encounters with people.
For instance, the week before Christmas, I woke up on a Wednesday and really felt like I wanted to take the younger kids to the local Children's Museum for storytime. I asked Ben if he wanted to go and he was like, "Eh, it's just going to be stay-at-home Moms. You go, and I'll take Micah to the library to work on some homeschool." So that's what we did. I walked into the museum (which is really more like a big, cool playroom), and was like "jackpot!" If you are a stay-at-home Mom and you want to meet people, this was the place to be. There were probably 30 + women trying to wrangle their toddlers into their laps to hear the story, and I immediately felt drawn to one lady in particular with a little girl the same age as Abby. We hit it off, exchanged numbers, and planned a playdate. After we left the museum, we walked over to the library. There was only one other person in the children's section besides Ben and Micah, and it happened to be a stay-at-home Dad who moved from Ohio last year. He's also one of the friendliest people you'll ever meet once you get him talking. Before we left the library, we all made a "date" to meet him and his 5 young kids (2 sets of twins!) at the science museum that Friday. I don't think the science museum workers knew what hit them. :) Anyway, we really like this guy and his family... I'm hoping we can have them all over for dinner soon.
And about the Mommy friend I met... I was at her house this past week, and the topic of "church" came up. Come to find out she grew up in a church but never really "connected" with it. When I asked what kind of church it was she started out by saying, "Most people have never heard of it. It's called Mennonite." I assured her that I've heard of it. :) I think this is another person I could really enjoy getting to know.
Another thing we did right before Christmas was walk around and hand out cookies to all our neighbors. We got to meet a few more people this way, and we're thinking the group of houses directly connected to our's will be great to have some cook-outs with this summer, since they all seem like pretty laid-back folks who like to "shoot the breeze". It also helps that we all share a backyard. (Side note... about 8 houses down, a big guy came to the door with no shirt on and peeked through the door before opening it. He was like, "Oh cool. I was just making sure it wasn't the cops." Okay. Note to self....)
We've also been encouraged lately by a couple of Rock Hill people who discovered our church's webpage online. One couple used to be involved with a Vineyard in Ohio before they moved to South Carolina, and we instantly "clicked" with them when we met. We're not sure what God's plan is yet with how this couple will be involved with us, but my goodness, have they been a joy to us.
Another guy named Khon found and emailed us at the prompting of his brother who attends the Columbus Vineyard. We had him over for dinner this past Tuesday, and it felt like the Holy Spirit just came and resided with us the entire evening. Khon is from Laos and became a Christian about a year and a half ago, after trying Buddhism for a while. He has a crazy busy schedule as an engineer and is starting his own business, but he has read the Bible through multiple times this past year and is constantly in prayer and worship. It's like the Lord is taking him through "spiritual boot camp." It was such a huge encouragement to sit with him, hear his story, pray together, and dream. At some point during the evening, he said, "Do you guys ever feel emotional when you think about the Lord? Like the Holy Spirit is just so sweet you feel like crying and it feels like you've got tingles all over your head and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?" We assured him that's the presence of the Lord, and he said, "That's how I've felt since I've walked into your house." Thank you, Lord. May that be the experience of everyone who steps foot in here.
This past week we crossed two milestones: we had our first "native" Rock Hiller come to a Wednesday community group, and us girls had another "native" come to our "micro-group" on Saturday morning. (When you see "micro-group", you can read it as "excuse for Moms to get together and drink coffee without the kids." Actually, the guys and girls take turns on Saturday mornings getting together, and it's been some really, really good time of deep discipleship and encouragement.)
For the most part, we're still trying to feel out what we're supposed to be doing here. We know God called us here, and so we know he has people planned for us. He's already at work. Our job is to keep meeting people and loving them, and pray. I was reminded of something I read in a "Mom book" a while back... that an apple tree doesn't worry about what's going to happen to its apples; it just keeps producing fruit. Someone might come pick every apple and make it all into applesauce or apple pies... or most of the apples might just fall to the ground and rot or get eaten by animals... and maybe a few eventually turn into trees, but a lot also just seem to be wasted. But that's okay, because we're supposed to just keep producing fruit (or better said, letting the Lord produce fruit in us) and he'll worry about where it falls or how it is used. So as we keep meeting and getting to know people, we're aware that some of these folks may never choose to follow Jesus. Some folks may follow Jesus and never be apart of "our" church. Some folks may be sent to us to build Vineyard Church of Rock Hill. But it's freeing to know that none of that is really "up to us", and it allows us to just love and enjoy people unconditionally, no strings attached, instead of turning them into some sort of "project."
Speaking of fruit, God spoke another lesson to me this week through my children. With being gone most of last weekend, it felt like we jumped into a busy week without much rest... Monday through Wednesday it was like we hit the ground running in the morning and kept working after the kids were in bed. We had plans each evening, and just had a lot of "extra stuff" like playdates scheduled during the day that threw off the "normal to-do list" (and... for those who don't know me, I kind of like my structures and schedules. Monday is grocery shopping day, people. If I don't go on Monday, I don't know when to work it in. That's how I roll.)
So Wednesday afternoon while I was working in the kitchen, I started getting that tight-chested feeling, and I had all these thoughts running through my head of what I needed to do. We're realizing that with Ben starting this job and hopefully finding another to go with it, we'll be using most of our evenings every week to host people in our home, and life will just keep getting busier the closer we get to starting Sunday morning gatherings. So I stood there praying, "Lord, am I going to have enough emotional and physical energy to get through these first years? Can I sustain this kind of schedule?" And Abby comes over asking for "gapes". So I pluck off some grapes for her. Then Micah wants grapes, so I pluck them off for him. Then Caleb comes over and wants grapes, but "like these", pointing to a cluster. "Like what?" "Like with the stick still on." "Oh, like the ones that are still... " In my head it pops: ABIDING. That's how we're going to make it through the craziness and uncertainty of church-planting: by abiding in Christ.
So please continue to pray for us. For continued guidance with jobs, for divine encounters, for sustainable schedules, and that we would, above all, abide.
(One last note: Your prayers certainly worked for our teammates, the Buchers. Last you heard from us, they were trying to find a job and a house. This past week, we actually prayed that Karl's work would ease up a little because he's gotten so many hours, and a couple weeks ago they moved into a great house that seems strategically located in downtown Rock Hill. We know your prayers are heard, and our Father is always good. Thank you!!!)
Quick recap: we've been here for about two and a half months.
Weeks 1 and 2: unpacking, trying to figure out how not to get lost, a little crying (no need to name names...ahem...) and meeting some neighbors. Job search begins.
About 3 weeks in: we started having some new friends over for dinner. More job searching.
At week 4, we left for two weeks to make holiday visits to each of our families. (Although Ben's parents got the short end of the stick since Abby was sick the whole time we visited them, and ended up in the hospital for three days.) We got back to South Carolina and quarantined ourselves for an additional 5 days while Abby totally recovered. (And Ben job searched.)
Around week 7: We had about a week and a half of "normal life", in which we tried to set up a routine and get to know some more folks... and job searched... then Christmas happened in there somewhere ... and then we once again had to quarantine ourselves for a few days while some nasty sinus colds/coughs/earaches ran their course through our home. Ben's parents came down for a quick visit around New Year's. Have I mentioned Ben spent a lot of time job searching?
Last weekend we had to take another "unexpected" trip to Maryland for my grandmother's funeral (as much as that can be "unexpected" for a 92 year old woman who needed to go home!) While we were there, Ben got a call to come in for a job interview.
BUT... we are well into January and I ***THINK*** normal life is right around the corner. Ben has started working part time as a traffic cop through one of the "rich" school systems about 15-20 minutes from here. It's not ideal because it's not quite enough hours to meet our budget, and it will only last through the school year, but it's better than nothing! He works from 7-8:30 in the morning, then again from 2:00-3:30 in the afternoon, so that gives us some time with him during the day, and he can set up coffee meetings around lunchtime. He can get in some good prayer time while waiting for the school buses, and let's not underestimate the cool-factor of telling all the rich cars what to do. ("That's right, Lexus, you'll stop when he tells you to stop!") Plus he has a glow-in-the-dark wand which is kind of like a light saber. :)
Sometimes it feels like we've been here forever and we're like, "why does this move so SLOOOOOWLY????" Because, you know, it takes time for relationships to form and grow. And then at other times we realize we haven't been here all that long, and despite the "random busyness" of the past couple of months, we have undoubtedly seen God lining up some divine encounters with people.
For instance, the week before Christmas, I woke up on a Wednesday and really felt like I wanted to take the younger kids to the local Children's Museum for storytime. I asked Ben if he wanted to go and he was like, "Eh, it's just going to be stay-at-home Moms. You go, and I'll take Micah to the library to work on some homeschool." So that's what we did. I walked into the museum (which is really more like a big, cool playroom), and was like "jackpot!" If you are a stay-at-home Mom and you want to meet people, this was the place to be. There were probably 30 + women trying to wrangle their toddlers into their laps to hear the story, and I immediately felt drawn to one lady in particular with a little girl the same age as Abby. We hit it off, exchanged numbers, and planned a playdate. After we left the museum, we walked over to the library. There was only one other person in the children's section besides Ben and Micah, and it happened to be a stay-at-home Dad who moved from Ohio last year. He's also one of the friendliest people you'll ever meet once you get him talking. Before we left the library, we all made a "date" to meet him and his 5 young kids (2 sets of twins!) at the science museum that Friday. I don't think the science museum workers knew what hit them. :) Anyway, we really like this guy and his family... I'm hoping we can have them all over for dinner soon.
And about the Mommy friend I met... I was at her house this past week, and the topic of "church" came up. Come to find out she grew up in a church but never really "connected" with it. When I asked what kind of church it was she started out by saying, "Most people have never heard of it. It's called Mennonite." I assured her that I've heard of it. :) I think this is another person I could really enjoy getting to know.
Another thing we did right before Christmas was walk around and hand out cookies to all our neighbors. We got to meet a few more people this way, and we're thinking the group of houses directly connected to our's will be great to have some cook-outs with this summer, since they all seem like pretty laid-back folks who like to "shoot the breeze". It also helps that we all share a backyard. (Side note... about 8 houses down, a big guy came to the door with no shirt on and peeked through the door before opening it. He was like, "Oh cool. I was just making sure it wasn't the cops." Okay. Note to self....)
We've also been encouraged lately by a couple of Rock Hill people who discovered our church's webpage online. One couple used to be involved with a Vineyard in Ohio before they moved to South Carolina, and we instantly "clicked" with them when we met. We're not sure what God's plan is yet with how this couple will be involved with us, but my goodness, have they been a joy to us.
Another guy named Khon found and emailed us at the prompting of his brother who attends the Columbus Vineyard. We had him over for dinner this past Tuesday, and it felt like the Holy Spirit just came and resided with us the entire evening. Khon is from Laos and became a Christian about a year and a half ago, after trying Buddhism for a while. He has a crazy busy schedule as an engineer and is starting his own business, but he has read the Bible through multiple times this past year and is constantly in prayer and worship. It's like the Lord is taking him through "spiritual boot camp." It was such a huge encouragement to sit with him, hear his story, pray together, and dream. At some point during the evening, he said, "Do you guys ever feel emotional when you think about the Lord? Like the Holy Spirit is just so sweet you feel like crying and it feels like you've got tingles all over your head and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?" We assured him that's the presence of the Lord, and he said, "That's how I've felt since I've walked into your house." Thank you, Lord. May that be the experience of everyone who steps foot in here.
This past week we crossed two milestones: we had our first "native" Rock Hiller come to a Wednesday community group, and us girls had another "native" come to our "micro-group" on Saturday morning. (When you see "micro-group", you can read it as "excuse for Moms to get together and drink coffee without the kids." Actually, the guys and girls take turns on Saturday mornings getting together, and it's been some really, really good time of deep discipleship and encouragement.)
For the most part, we're still trying to feel out what we're supposed to be doing here. We know God called us here, and so we know he has people planned for us. He's already at work. Our job is to keep meeting people and loving them, and pray. I was reminded of something I read in a "Mom book" a while back... that an apple tree doesn't worry about what's going to happen to its apples; it just keeps producing fruit. Someone might come pick every apple and make it all into applesauce or apple pies... or most of the apples might just fall to the ground and rot or get eaten by animals... and maybe a few eventually turn into trees, but a lot also just seem to be wasted. But that's okay, because we're supposed to just keep producing fruit (or better said, letting the Lord produce fruit in us) and he'll worry about where it falls or how it is used. So as we keep meeting and getting to know people, we're aware that some of these folks may never choose to follow Jesus. Some folks may follow Jesus and never be apart of "our" church. Some folks may be sent to us to build Vineyard Church of Rock Hill. But it's freeing to know that none of that is really "up to us", and it allows us to just love and enjoy people unconditionally, no strings attached, instead of turning them into some sort of "project."
Speaking of fruit, God spoke another lesson to me this week through my children. With being gone most of last weekend, it felt like we jumped into a busy week without much rest... Monday through Wednesday it was like we hit the ground running in the morning and kept working after the kids were in bed. We had plans each evening, and just had a lot of "extra stuff" like playdates scheduled during the day that threw off the "normal to-do list" (and... for those who don't know me, I kind of like my structures and schedules. Monday is grocery shopping day, people. If I don't go on Monday, I don't know when to work it in. That's how I roll.)
So Wednesday afternoon while I was working in the kitchen, I started getting that tight-chested feeling, and I had all these thoughts running through my head of what I needed to do. We're realizing that with Ben starting this job and hopefully finding another to go with it, we'll be using most of our evenings every week to host people in our home, and life will just keep getting busier the closer we get to starting Sunday morning gatherings. So I stood there praying, "Lord, am I going to have enough emotional and physical energy to get through these first years? Can I sustain this kind of schedule?" And Abby comes over asking for "gapes". So I pluck off some grapes for her. Then Micah wants grapes, so I pluck them off for him. Then Caleb comes over and wants grapes, but "like these", pointing to a cluster. "Like what?" "Like with the stick still on." "Oh, like the ones that are still... " In my head it pops: ABIDING. That's how we're going to make it through the craziness and uncertainty of church-planting: by abiding in Christ.
So please continue to pray for us. For continued guidance with jobs, for divine encounters, for sustainable schedules, and that we would, above all, abide.
(One last note: Your prayers certainly worked for our teammates, the Buchers. Last you heard from us, they were trying to find a job and a house. This past week, we actually prayed that Karl's work would ease up a little because he's gotten so many hours, and a couple weeks ago they moved into a great house that seems strategically located in downtown Rock Hill. We know your prayers are heard, and our Father is always good. Thank you!!!)
Friday, January 17, 2014
A Good Dad
One of the consistent things God has been reminding me over the past year is- he is a very good Dad.
Regardless of how good your dad was growing up, God is much, much better. He is all of your dad's best qualities times a million. He is constantly looking out for us. He loves to provide for us. He is pleased with us. He loves being around us. He doesn't manipulate us, He doesn't have any hidden agendas, He doesn't have any ulterior motives, He is not burdened by us.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Martin Luther- "Prayer is not overcoming God's reluctance. It is laying hold of His willingness." That has stuck with me because I have a tendency to view prayer and many other aspects of my relationship with God as an attempt to convince God to bless me. Sometimes I even have the feeling that I need to change God's mind or bend His will in my favor (or in the favor of the person I am praying for).
But in reality that mindset has nothing to do with the gospel. It is paganism, not Christianity. Paganism says if I offer the right sacrifice... enough sacrifice, the right kind, and in the right way, my god will bless me. But the beauty is, this isn't how the Bible portrays God. He loves us, He is in favor of us, He is pleased to give us the kingdom.
He is a good Dad. We can trust Him with every detail of our lives. We don't have to "guard" what we say to Him because He is on our side. We don't have to gain His approval, bend His will, or overcome His reluctance.
This is one of my main desires in church planting. To help people realize how great our Dad is and to walk in that truth. When we know how good He is, it changes everything.
Regardless of how good your dad was growing up, God is much, much better. He is all of your dad's best qualities times a million. He is constantly looking out for us. He loves to provide for us. He is pleased with us. He loves being around us. He doesn't manipulate us, He doesn't have any hidden agendas, He doesn't have any ulterior motives, He is not burdened by us.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Martin Luther- "Prayer is not overcoming God's reluctance. It is laying hold of His willingness." That has stuck with me because I have a tendency to view prayer and many other aspects of my relationship with God as an attempt to convince God to bless me. Sometimes I even have the feeling that I need to change God's mind or bend His will in my favor (or in the favor of the person I am praying for).
But in reality that mindset has nothing to do with the gospel. It is paganism, not Christianity. Paganism says if I offer the right sacrifice... enough sacrifice, the right kind, and in the right way, my god will bless me. But the beauty is, this isn't how the Bible portrays God. He loves us, He is in favor of us, He is pleased to give us the kingdom.
He is a good Dad. We can trust Him with every detail of our lives. We don't have to "guard" what we say to Him because He is on our side. We don't have to gain His approval, bend His will, or overcome His reluctance.
This is one of my main desires in church planting. To help people realize how great our Dad is and to walk in that truth. When we know how good He is, it changes everything.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
How we are Doing
We've been in Rock Hill for three weeks now. We miss our Ohio friends and family like crazy, but are definitely transitioning well. We love the city....there's so much to do and so many friendly people. You can get into a conversation with just about anybody. In fact, the first night we were here, as we were pulling into our parking space with the moving truck, we got into a conversation with a neighbor named Arnold and told him we'd have him over for dinner once we got settled. Well, this past Monday night we unpacked the last box and hung the last picture on the wall... so Tuesday night, we had Arnold and his wife and baby over for dinner. When they left, we just had silly grins on our faces. If this is church planting, we love it. :) On Sunday, we have another set of neighbors coming for dinner.
Funny side note: after Arnold and Juanita left, we googled "how to open a wine bottle." Juanita had brought us a bottle of wine as a hostess gift. (I forgot about that fancy little custom. It made me glad I changed out of my sweatpants at the last minute... although as we talked over dinner, I told Juanita that next time, we're all allowed to wear sweats.) So I apologized that we had given our wine glasses away before we moved ,which we had. (They had sat in our cupboard for 10 years and were never used. But I kept them because they were pretty. :) As Ben sat at the table with them, I tried to motion to him that I had no idea how to open a wine bottle. (Anyone seen "The Emperor's New Groove"? I felt like Isma telling Cronk to "hit him on the head!") After some subtle attempts, I realized I probably needed a corkscrew, which I thought I had attached to a kitchen gadget somewhere but couldn't find. We finally blamed it on my unpacking skills and stashed the wine in the fridge for another day. After my post-dinner You Tube tutorial, and upon locating a corkscrew, we got the wine open. Which is good because I know the lady coming on Sunday with her boyfriend is into wine. I may have to practice taking a sip without showing my instinctual gag reflex. How anyone has ever acquired a taste for something with such a strong resemblance to cough syrup on steroids is beyond me!
Ben has been focusing a lot on trying to find a part-time job to start in late December or early January. He has been applying for a lot, and even has a couple interviews lined up, but so far there hasn't been an overly positive response... nor have we found the "perfect job" - you know, one that pays well enough to keep us afloat, has hours that are during the day (as opposed to the evening when we would be trying to have people over and do lots of "social stuff"), and that allows Ben to interact with people. If things don't start "lining" up before Thanksgiving, Ben's going to start applying for full-time jobs too. We cannot emphasize what a blessing this two-month sabbatical is to us. We would have been in big trouble if we had gotten here and needed a job ASAP or if Ben would have had to jump headfirst into a new job while we simultaneously had to work on unpacking and getting to know our surroundings.
We're also searching for better ways to get to know folks. Beyond our neighbors (and beyond the people Ben might get to know through his job) there's not a whole lot of "sure fire" free ways to build relationships. Ben and I have both gotten into some conversations at the playground or Chic-Fila (which, incase I haven't mentioned it, Rock Hill has TWO Chic-Filas!!). We're hoping Ben can help coach a kids' soccer team through the Y at the beginning of the year, and I've talked to the librarian about possibly volunteering during a Saturday morning storytime. If Ben gets a job that pays enough for us to have some "wiggle room" we might get a membership to the local children's museum or join some clubs at the Y where we would see the same people on a regular basis. It is absolutely amazing when we think about our relationships in Springfield... about 90% of them were built through the church, and another 7% were through some other "Christian group" like a homeschool co-op. This (sadly) feels like a new world to us, trying to figure out how to build relationships through "non-Christian" groups. We've been praying a lot for divine appointments.
As you pray for us, please also pray for our teammates. Seth and Amanda Hanford received the devastating news last week that Amanda's mom has stage 4 cancer. Obviously, this is incredibly difficult for them to be so far away from her parents. The Hanfords have also been going through the process of being able to adopt a child, and that same week, they found out that they have been chosen by a birth mother to adopt her baby. The baby is due in January, so needless to say, Seth and Amanda have a LOT on their plates right now.
We're also praying for Karl and Lindsey Bucher as Karl continues to search for a permanent full-time job. They have been here since October 1, and the Lord has provided plenty of short-term construction projects for Karl, but no full-time employment has worked out yet. It looks like there might be some opportunities right up Karl's alley at the beginning of the year, and we're hopeful for something to work out there, but in the meantime, they are living 45 minutes away in Waxhaw, NC. They are staying in a less-than-ideal one bedroom apartment, but since it is a temporary arrangement, they can't stay there too much longer. And without full-time employment, they are having a hard time finding a place that will rent to them in Rock Hill.
We definitely covet your prayers... for us, for our teammates, for our neighbors and those we will be in contact with. This is a battle, and it's only just beginning.
-Janelle
P.S.- here are some pictures from our last month
Micah helping with move:
P.S.- here are some pictures from our last month
Micah helping with move:
About to hit the road:
New play room for the kids:
Reunited with good friends:
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Gift of Hospitality
Every Monday evening we have dinner with our neighbors and in turn, they have dinner at our place every Wednesday evening. We have also invited some other families into this routine. Tonight we all sat around after dinner and talked and laughed and enjoyed mostly meaningless conversation. But afterward, I could tell how important community is to me.
I am amazed by how refreshing true community is and how the gift of hospitality affects me. When I spend time with people in the natural rhythms of everyday life, I am so energized. When I share life with others, when I laugh with others, when I just enjoy being together with people, I feel hope and joy rise up within me.
I read an article the other day on Christianity Today and couldn't get past this sentence:
This makes me want to be a hospitable person and to plant a hospitable church. Less programs, more relationships. Less accomplishing things for God and more enjoying God and His children. I love how Michael Gatlin, the director of church planting for Vineyard USA, defines hospitality:
Hospitality is a gift from God and I think we don't take advantage of it in the way He intends. There is life and hope in community. I, for one, want to make plenty margin in my life and in my church for this amazing gift.
I am amazed by how refreshing true community is and how the gift of hospitality affects me. When I spend time with people in the natural rhythms of everyday life, I am so energized. When I share life with others, when I laugh with others, when I just enjoy being together with people, I feel hope and joy rise up within me.
I read an article the other day on Christianity Today and couldn't get past this sentence:
“America is suffering from a serious deficit of hospitality”This truth saddens me especially as I see it happening in the church. I am learning more and more through experience that God has wired us to be together. Not necessarily together for the sake of trying to achieve something or accomplish something, but just being together for the sake of being together. Enjoying each others' presence, humor, perspectives, thoughts, opinions.
This makes me want to be a hospitable person and to plant a hospitable church. Less programs, more relationships. Less accomplishing things for God and more enjoying God and His children. I love how Michael Gatlin, the director of church planting for Vineyard USA, defines hospitality:
“One idea of hospitality that I've come across over the years is this – It's the ability to make/help others feel comfortable in your presence. I like this because we often only think of inviting others over for a meal, or into our homes. But truly hospitable people are that way everywhere they go, and anywhere they happen to be. These are the folks who go out of their way to meet newcomers, make every person in the room feel relaxed, welcomed, and even refreshed. They are the sensitive ones, observing how other's respond to or engage with the conversation. They ask questions and actually listen for the answers (a novel idea, I know!). It's the kind of person that practices Philippians 2 all day long! When I spot one of these folks in a room full of people, they're the ones I want to be with and want to emulate.
I wonder what would need to change in the way we interacted with others for us to become truly hospitable in any or every situation?”
Hospitality is a gift from God and I think we don't take advantage of it in the way He intends. There is life and hope in community. I, for one, want to make plenty margin in my life and in my church for this amazing gift.
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